Seven simple life-giving practices for a healthy you
By Barbara E. Livingston, D.Min., LMHC, DipACLM
It’s no secret that organized religion has been and continues to face many significant challenges. A common casualty of these times is that those serving in active ministries often experience what is commonly referred to as “career overwhelm” and are living life on the edges of burnout.
Perhaps the church you serve is in decline, its finances are struggling. There is too much to do and not enough help. The congregation hopes you will perform some sort of miracle and return it to its boom time status. Many weeks feel like a crisis upon crisis. It's highly possible you are feeling stretched to the maximum or stuck, leaving you feeling guilty or not good enough. You may have wondered, “How did I get here? Is this sustainable?” Seminary trained you for many things but not this.
Do you resonate with any of the above? Are you risking burnout by living in such a way that does not promote health and wellbeing? If so, keep reading because this has your name written all over it.
Welcome to the first in a series of articles intended to connect with people of call who are in what could be named as places of overwhelm, perhaps vulnerability or even burnout. As a UCC “lifer” who has spent my 30-year career as a pastoral psychotherapist to clergy and laity, I have a deep understanding of the challenges faced by those in ministry. Like some of you, I too have faced burnout and had to find my way forward as I listened and wondered if God was still speaking. Good self-care skills cannot be underestimated and are needed now more than ever. Simply put, I know clergy are struggling. So yes, I see you. The God who called you to this ministry sees you. I’ll also say what I have always said to clergy and members in discernment I assess, coach and counsel in my work: the call of ministry asks much from those who answer. It is a demanding calling, and it requires a solid toolkit filled with strong skills that will give you the best chance for a healthy life in ministry that will last the journey.
I wholeheartedly believe it is possible to learn new skills, to grow, and to find better ways to do things at any time in one’s life. I say this because I have seen it work time and again when people are willing to gain and use insight and put in the effort to make meaningful lifestyle change. It is never too late to develop strong skills in effective self-care. In the process, I’d like to walk with you a little and minister to you by offering a vision of health and wellbeing that is fully attainable. I will be offering “recipe” ingredients that will help you create your own ‘Secret Sauce’ to help you to thrive in this worthy work.
The seeds of this series began in June of this year. I was invited to speak to a group of UCC clergy at a Pension Boards-sponsored Wellness Retreat with a two-fold purpose. First was the opportunity to hear from and speak to a Pension Boards representative about the obvious concerns: financial health. I was not that speaker, but instead I had been invited to talk about other kinds of health: the why, what, and how wellness and wellbeing practices are of critical importance for people who are called to ministry. We also talked about what gets in the way of good self-care, and possible solutions that can help one flourish, and by association, those you serve.
Let’s start with a core assumption that we are all God’s beloved children and that we each have a responsibility to God, ourselves, and the people we love and serve to live a physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy life. I am talking about skillful health and wellbeing habits because these allow you to function fully and give what your call asks of you. This moment - right now - is the perfect time to think about what you define as health, and where you are on that continuum. For each of us, it will mean something different, but there are some basics that we can think of as foundational cornerstones on which to build.
Make a list:
For example, how would it help you if you set one small goal to walk ten minutes a day? Sometimes we forget about things that have worked in the past that can be re-employed. These are the things we can leverage and make work for us when we are struggling. Then ask yourself, “What challenges am I currently facing?” Take some time to really consider these questions. This will help you see what’s going well, and where there is room and need for growth and change. This honest assessment will help you, and by association, those whom you love and serve.
Let’s get to the “Secret Sauce.” I got the “recipe” from an emerging medical field known as Lifestyle Medicine (LM). I was drawn to LM because it’s deeply relevant, easy to utilize and extremely helpful. Holistic in nature, it promotes total health and wellbeing. It’s all about good self-care! Care of health, NOT sick care. It has changed the way I have practiced my ministry as a pastoral psychotherapist because the intended outcomes are relevant to all people, especially those in the helping professions. The benefit of LM is that it offers real solutions that when used, work to empower and promote health and healing. Its power is found in the ‘secret sauce’ elements that are outlined below.
Every good cook knows a good recipe needs good ingredients. It’s simple, and literally anyone can learn to do this. You don’t need an advanced degree or special tools. It’s as easy as moving your body, regularly drinking water, eating a meal that involves food that you would recognize as being grown in the earth, sleeping at least seven hours a night, practicing what feeds your spirit, not using spirits to medicate your stress (but managing it well), and connecting with friends and loved ones. Oh...and commitment.
I will be offering a deeper look into each of these components in subsequent articles but for now, I will introduce the basics because it gives us a place to begin. In no particular order:
1. Increase physical activity. What you do today impacts how you feel tomorrow. The hope is that we all get our bodies moving for 150 minutes a week. At its most basic, you need a decent pair of walking shoes and appropriate clothing for the elements. Does 150 minutes sound impossible? Then some minutes are better than no minutes! If you are like my patients, you will discover that moving your body improves your mood and makes you feel better. One clergywoman told me after a session walking and talking, “I feel like I walked my trouble away!”
2. Adopt healthy eating patterns. The “Standard American Diet” is full of highly processed foods that are killing your health and energy. Worse, they contribute to anxiety, depression, and brain fog. Author and activist Michael Pollan famously says “Eat food. Mostly plants. Not too much.” It’s advice worth taking.
3. Develop strategies to manage stress. Something as simple as five minutes of mindful breathing sitting with your eyes closed and two feet on the floor can be very grounding. Perhaps you like to binge-watch a favorite show; or for rest, bathe; practice yoga; do a crossword puzzle; and journal your feelings? These are just a few suggestions in addition to what you may already be doing.
4. Improve your sleep health. Getting at least seven hours a night is ideal. To do this, shut down your devices/screens one hour before sleep. Establish a regular bedtime/wake time routine. Keep your bedroom cool and dark. Limit alcohol to no more than one drink per day for women and two drinks per day for men. Do not eat large, heavy meals late in the day. Shut down caffeine intake by 2:00 p.m. Get some sun on your face as soon as possible in the morning.
5. Form and maintain healthy relationships. Your congregants are not responsible for meeting your social needs. Pay attention to and spend time in relationships that give you a place to just be yourself without having to censure and worry about what boundaries are in question.
6. Avoid risky substances. Self-medication is never a good strategy and adds a problem to what you are already struggling with.
7. Practice/nurture your faith life. You can’t give what you don’t have, and taking care of your own faith life is of critical importance so that you have something authentic to offer those you serve.
Last, but not least...
8. Find and work with a qualified clergy coach/ psychotherapist/spiritual director with whom you can process and get support, someone who understands the complexity of the work you do in living out your call to ministry.
Of course, these practices will take time to develop, but they are so worth it! Maybe you are already doing some and see something you want to work on next. Perhaps it’s a tossup of where to start. Choose one and set a small goal. Grab the lowest hanging fruit and start there, so that you can build successes to gain momentum and see the benefits! It will help you, and by association, the people to whom you minister.
I’m so looking forward to this journey together and want to remind you of this certainty: God sees you. I see you. The Pension Board has engaged me to write this series because they see you too. Together, let’s move toward health and wholeness so that you can live out your call in an authentic and healthy way. I am privileged to share what many clergy have found to be helpful practices, and hope something here has provided a spark and given you HOPE. I look forward to meeting you here in December’s article.
Parting Blessing: The One who calls you by name sees you and is calling you to wholeness. Rest in God’s loving gaze, remembering you are God’s beloved child. Allow yourself to move toward that which creates health and connection to self, God, and the world. Amen.”
